I dream of talking to different significant people in my life. People I wished I talked to or people I hated to talk to. Different people to different places every time I dream. But the same thing happens to me. Every time I try to express what I have to say, I feel like I could not speak. I feel like I could not scream loud enough. I feel like they could not hear me, I could not hear myself either. I seems like my voice drowns in the middle of every thing that has been happening in my life. I wanted to takeover. I wanted to take control. I can't. They could not hear me. It felt like my voice was taken away from me and I have no power to restore it, even how hard I try to scream, there was no sound that goes out of my mouth.
I hated it. I hated every moment that they could not hear me. I hated every time I dream of it. I hated the fact that I can never tell them what I think of them or feel for them. I hated talking to them. I hated every thing about it. It felt like something is strangling me and that I could not breathe.
I always wished to runaway from my life, from every possible thing that can hurt me. But then again, kismet happens.